Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
