dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
