He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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