If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
organizing the empties. That sober.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
