; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
