I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
this beer tastes like vomit already
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
