I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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