I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
