I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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