Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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