Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
