once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
