I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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