are you so shy because you have an std?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
