Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
