You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
