Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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