Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
