My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You need a sexual gate keeper
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
