the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
