ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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