So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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