We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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