This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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