You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He? As in you personified your dick?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I need water and some morals
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
