My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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