guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
