Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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