they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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