Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
