Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Randomize
