I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
This is classic penis vs brain.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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