shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize