Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You left your underwear on the fireplace
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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