Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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