FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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