Kiss
Puke
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She bit a glass in half.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
