is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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