Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
