this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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