I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
