I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize