If i come over, it means nothing
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
