I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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