im about as happy as oj after his trial
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I love having hate sex.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Randomize
