theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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