I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
