Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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