I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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