im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
