You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Green mimosas i think yes
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
