Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
