dude i'm inner monologue high
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize