Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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