There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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