You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
