she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
