I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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