Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Found your dick twin last night
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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