and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
